The Disappointment Dilemma
When we face a disappointment in life, we also face a dilemma. Whether we realize it or not, we have a crucial decision to make. How will we deal with this disappointment? Yesterday, I listened to a message by Rev. Victor Parachin who outlined four ways to deal with disappointment.
- Suspend judgement: You’ve probably heard that life can only be lived going forward. We really don’t know how a situation is going to turn out. Something we judge as negative at first, could ultimately end up helping us or shaping our life in a positive way. Suspending judgement is also helpful since everyone and everything is constantly changing. Among followers of Christ, “this too shall pass,” is often an expression of this idea. For those who follow Buddhism, the concept of impermanence can be a comfort. If things are difficult now, they will soon shift and move in some way–on this we can depend.
- Focus on the good: There is always something good to focus on, but it’s almost impossible to find when we only look at what we label as “wrong” about the situation.
- Identify at least three positives about the situation: This can be challenging, but it can be done if you try. A sad ending to a relationship could offer time to explore your own interests or hobbies, lead to revelations about yourself and your emotional needs, and you could meet someone who will be a better fit on down the road.
- Learn and grow from the experience: Difficult times and disappointment come for us all at some time or another. Things don’t turn out the way we wanted. We experience the loss of a loved one, a job, or a relationship. Will we stretch and grow beyond it, or will our world shrink?
As Rev. Parachin said at the end of his message, “It’s a choice; choose wisely.”