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By On May 23rd, 2013

The Patterns That Detour Us From Healing

Detour

In the mental health field, we spend a lot of time looking for patterns; mostly looking for patterns in behavior or emotions. The patterns of feelings and thoughts are almost all we have to diagnose ailments, and patterns in behavior are some of our best tools for trying to help patients learn positive treatment techniques.

We also often see common patterns of regression, oppression, or otherwise detours from healthy recovery which typically comes from early wounds of rejection, abandonment, isolation, or abuse. These feelings can create cycles or torment which only get worse as the individual gets older unless there is intervention.

That intervention comes in identifying the bad habits and behaviors that cause us to get distracted from healthy living and healing. Phyllis Tarbox recently discussed these habits and how they can hurt individuals and those around them.

  1. Cares of the World – We often lose perspective on what is important and can become disillusioned by the world around us. We need to keep our eyes on those who help and support us, and the powerful love of God.
  2. Anxiety – Allowing our anxiety to get out of hand prevents us from peace and happiness we should rightfully feel. Anxiety often comes out of lack of perspective and inner friction which we work to manage.
  3. Resentment – Holding grudges keeps us from moving forward. There are many who have wronged us through life, some more than others, but it is important to remember the forgiveness of our lord and try to live in his spirit. Forgiveness is hard, but we must all try to let go of what holds us back.
  4. Grief – Grief has a very real function in loss, but when we grieve for too long we begin to refuse happiness that comes to us. We defer hope and allow negative forces to oppress us. When we lose hope, we often then lose expectation of God even when he is working to try lift us up again.
  5. Accusation – There is always one who uses accusation to remind us of what we have done wrong. While we must accept our errors and work to right them, we must also learn to not condemn or accuse those around us, or to hold the grudges that lead to accusations. Conviction can lead to grace, but condemnation only creates shame.

One Response

  1. Paul A. Harvey says:

    “Allowing our Anxiety to get out of hand” presumes a conscious role in the process of its creation. As someone with PTSD I know that Anxiety is a chemical process that I cannot always control without medication.

    Similarly, the “lack of perspective and inner friction which we work to manage.” is blaming the victim at its worse. I could not control any aspect of the events that created my anxiety. I was fine before that trauma, was managing my “inner friction,” and certainly was not lacking in perspective.

    I understand the your comments are “generic” and won’t everyone’s situation, but I just thought you would like to know how it made me feel…

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