Should You Strive For Reconciliation?
Throughout life numerous relationships are broken or breached. Trust is hurt, sometimes because of a perceived wrong, other times because of a real offense. No matter the reason, or who was wrong, we experience breaks with friends, family, acquaintances, and members of the same beliefs.
When this happens, it is common to seek reconciliation. Broken or damaged relationships hurt terribly, and the emotional weight can be heavy. However, Phil Monroe, Professor of Counseling and Psychology at Biblical Seminary, suggests reconciliation shouldn’t be your goal. Instead, you should aim for objectives that can absolutely be accomplished, that might work towards a possible reconciliation, but more than anything help yourself to be a better person.
Think of it as cultivating plants. You can’t force a plant to grow, but you can cultivate an environment that best facilitates growth. You can aim to regularly water and fertilize plants, aim to buy the plants best suited for your environment, but there is nothing you can do to force a plant to grow. However, if you cultivated a good environment, that plant is more likely to spring from the ground.
Similarly, if you aim for achievable goals that cultivate yourself spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, you will become a better person while improving your chances of reconciliation. Even if reconciliation isn’t a possibility, you can give back to God and find new relationships through living a positive life.
Monroe offers examples of goals you can set that are accomplish able even if reconciliation is not. By aiming for objectives that are certain to succeed, you open yourself to let God take care of the bigger picture.