God’s Grace during Bulimia
“My stomach was empty- but so was my heart.”
Personal accounts of bulimia highlight the vicious cycle of the illness. One woman gave account of her bulimic past relaying that feelings of inadequacy led her to the need to control her image. Since she could not control her eating habits, she gained a sense of empowerment from purging after gorging on foods that she liked. This led her to feelings of guilt. Her cycle of bulimia began with feelings of inadequacy, ended with feelings of guilt, and ultimately perpetuated a cycle of depression.
This woman realized that she had a problem when eventually she began to purge at public restaurants. She still struggles with the temptation to purge to this day. However, she claims that she has found grace in the knowledge of God’s forgiveness, enabling her to move away from an attitude of self-sufficiency and toward a perspective of reliance on God’s love and grace. The follow is an excerpt of the woman’s story.
Bulimia still occasionally rears its ugly head in my life. There are times when my life seems to whirl out of control, and I can turn back to the cycle of binging and purging to provide a temporary illusion of control, or I can turn to Christ, who is part of my life now. My relationship with Him is an alternative to help me through those rough times. But just because I am a Christian doesn’t mean I am “cured” or that I don’t struggle. And I don’t always succeed. I would be lying if I claimed that. But being a Christian does give me a measure of mercy, grace, and a forgiving perspective. I also get a chance at a new start every day, even during those times I backslide.
Christ wasn’t a part of my life when I first slid into the cycle of binging and purging. I was in control (so I thought) and lived with the theology of self-sufficiency.
I have replaced the self-sufficient theology with God’s Word and find the following Scripture a help when I am struggling:
So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help (Hebrews 4:16, The Message).
But sometimes, along with God’s Word, we also need professional resources and organizations that can help us through.